Happy 20th Birthday, Riley! We are officially out of the teenage years and we all survived. You have brought so much laughter to your lives. You are funny, smart, and work hard at everything you do. Your dad and I have loved having a front row seat to your life. You have been one of our greatest adventures. We hope year 20 is amazing!
It's been a while since I've been on here. And the new year has me wanting to put down a few thoughts from the past one.
2024 was definitely a year. If I could sum it in a song, or more specifically a lyric it would be CeCe Winans, The Goodness of God and the lyric is, And I have lived in the goodness of God.
This was my song of the year. The entire song is simply amazing and CeCe's voice is just so beautiful
So much happened this past year that only God could have orchestrated all and none of it was lost on me.
In March 2023 I began to pray for God to open doors for new job opportunities at the university where I had worked for 15 years. I had spent the last four years in a toxic and hostile work environment and it was clear it was time. Don't get me wrong, the university as a whole was wonderful and my family has a deep history there but my department was an different story.
I prayed for God to move or move me. And move me he did. He closed every door at the university and opened one at another higher education institution in an entirely different state. So in March 2024, I listened to God and took that leap of faith and accepted that new position.
I excitedly went into the new position ready to learn whatever I could. After 30 days it was clear to me that I did not want to be separated from my husband for almost a year before he retired. Nor did I want to be away from the rest of my family and friends. Again, I began praying earnestly for God to once again move or move me.
As God does, he moved. A job came across a listserv that I was on and I thought, I can do that, so I applied. The next week I received an email for an interview later in that same week and the week after that I was offered the job.
Let me say, this new position was at another university and those of us in higher education know it takes months for things to happen. When I started at the first university, it took 3 months to apply, interview, and eventually higher me. At the university out of state, it took almost 6 months for that process. So for all of this to happen in 3 weeks was one hundred percent God working.
There were so many moving parts that needed to work out and fall into place that it could have only been done by God and I am honored that he allowed me to see all of this happening in real time and not retrospectively.
I now have an amazing job with a boss and co-workers who are supportive and encouraging. We have dubbed ourselves The Dream Tream and it truly is. It's also in Texas, which is where I truly want to be.
There were a lot of other things in the details that I had been praying for which God allowed and for that, I am truly grateful for.
As CeCe sings,
For your mercy never fails me. All my days, I've been held in Your hands. You have led me through the fire. In darkest night, You are close like no other. And I have lived in the goodness of God. Your goodness is running after, it's running after me. With my life laid down, I surrendered now, I give You everything, oh Lord. All my life You have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. So good with every breath that I am able, I will sing, I'm gonna sing, of the goodness of God.
They say we get 18 summers with our children before they leave for college. I was lucky enough to have 24.
Our oldest, Reece attended the university where I worked so he lived at home during his college career. But sometimes it was almost like he was gone and off at college somewhere because he was gone so much of the time.
He was with the baseball program at college for six years. Four as an undergraduate and then two more as a graduate. Thus why he was gone a lot of the time. A college athletic program is nothing like high school. Early morning work, classes, workouts during the day, and then either practice or games in the evening. The grind of baseball was long but he enjoyed every minute of it.
I also cherished knowing where he was the majority of the time and also knew he'd be home to sleep in his own bed.
Reece graduated with his masters degree in March and his final season with the baseball program ended a few weeks ago. And thus began a new chapter in all of our lives.
After 20 years of baseball, it's over. Reece also moved out last weekend. He's almost 24 and I know this is how it's supposed to be but man it went by so fast!
As he cleared out the last of his things from his room I made sure to put a smile on my face and happy tone to my voice. I didn't want him to remember this exciting time with me crying in the hallway as he loaded up his car with his pillows, blankets, and random items he was bringing with him.
He's just moving fifteen minutes away but it feels like hours. He hugged and kissed me one more time before getting in his car and driving to his new place. I just smiled and told him I loved him and how proud I was of him. And I told him that no matter what happens in his life, this is always his home and he can come back at any time.
Later that evening I put fresh sheets on the bed in our now guest room and vacuumed so it would be ready for who ever comes to stay. Then I cleaned his bathroom too so it would also be ready.
But what I wasn't ready for was the missing toothbrush in the holder. The missing shampoo bottle, shaving cream and beard wash from the shower. The missing basket with his name on it in the cabinet so he and his brother would know what items were theirs. And all of the other little things that are no longer in the house.
It was all just to much and I cried. I cried because if I could do it all over again, I absolutely would. I cried because he's off living his best life and I'm just so extremely proud of him. I've loved having a front row seat to his life and all of the adventures we have been on.
They say the days are long but the years are short. They aren't wrong. I was lucky to have him home those extra six years. But man what I wouldn't do to have another 24 years of him being home.
Go be bold and courageous, Reece. Dad and I love you!
November 2022 I set out on a journey to be healthier. I was facing some health issues and needed to make changes.
I started exercising on a daily basis and making better food choices.
I set short term goals to keep me on track and one long term goal for the year. My long term goal was to lose 52 pounds for the year.
Since making those changes I’ve lost 54 pounds and the health issues are no longer a problem.
I've set new goals for 2024. The hard work has been worth it and I’m so proud of myself for sticking with it.
October 2022
I don’t think my boys read my blog and I think Hubs does from time to time. But I just need to put this all out into the void of the internet in the hope it helps ease my mind and heart.
So, a lot of things changed in my household over the summer. Reece was gone more than normal with baseball and Riley took a job for the entire summer at the camp where our church youth attends for one week each summer. Mind you this camp is in another state. But the big change was they both ended up with girlfriends this summer. Neither one had ever dated seriously, and I was excited they both found someone who they wanted to spend time with. Hubs and I have met both girls and we really like them. Reece and his girlfriend are still going strong at almost four months but recently Riley and his girlfriend, MW, broke up.
And here is where it gets tricky, at least for me, as this entire situation has woven itself into my life and will not let go. God has shown up in MW’s life in a real and tangible way. Her story is not mine to tell but our stories do have a small similarity, and it is one that pulls at my heart not only has a mom but as a girl. She has such a deep faith and personal relationship with the Lord. The kind of relationship I have prayed for over the years for any woman that would come into my children’s lives.
This week I have never wanted to run to another state and wrap my arms around someone so fast as I have this week. I remember the pain of a broken heart as a teenager and a young twenty something girl. It hurts me to know she is experiencing this and there is nothing I can do to fix it. As moms we just want to fix it when our children are hurting.
I have reached out to her and let her know that I am praying for her. I have asked God for specific details for her that I hope he hears and provides. I have prayed for Riley and her so many times this past week that I am certain God is tired of hearing their names fall from my lips. But I also know that in times of trails or struggle the Lord draws you closer to him and this time is no different. I can feel him working not only in their lives but mine as well.
Riley is my son and while I am being supportive of him, I also want to be supportive of MW. One thing that has played out in my mind over and over is that maybe my son is not worthy of her. Maybe God put it on his heart to break up with her so she can find and move forward to the one that he has created for her. The one that will cherish her, love her, provide for her, guide her, and simply just be her person. The one that HE has created just for her and for him. As painful as it is for her and for my mama heart to acknowledge, maybe this is why.
This is all new territory to Hubs and me as well. We have gotten attached to MW in such a short amount of time it will be hard for us to let her go. I know affairs of the heart get easier as time moves on, but this break up has affected me too. I only wanted to be one more person for her to do life with. To do all the things that parents do for their children. I hope that in the years to come I can still be some small part of her life, even if all I do is pray for her.
I am trusting God and his plan and his timing in this situation. I know God’s timing is always perfect. I have witnessed it firsthand. I believe with everything in me that He has someone who is completely and utterly worthy of her. And when she meets that someone, I hope they know how wonderful she truly is and how worthy they are of her.
Well here we are, almost to the middle of August. Apparently Texas is experiencing a heat wave. This is nothing new as it is always hot in Texas during the month of August.
However, right now it feels as if Texas is standing on the face of the sun for an extended period of time. Today it is 103 with a heat index of 112. See standing on the face of the sun.
I also did not get on here to talk about the heat what I did get on here to talk about is Hubs. He had a birthday on Monday.
We didn't get to celebrate that night so we celebrated on Tuesday. I made one of his favorite desserts, Eclair cake. However there will be no candles, because of the dry weather conditions and the fire hazard said candles might cause.
Happy Birthday Hubs, I love you!
I started this blog back in April 2008 as a creative outlet and a way to document my boys growing up.
It was a perfect time to get into blogging. The blog world was just exploding and there were communities every where for just about anything that interested you. I met people that I still keep in touch with today.
It was a wonderful outlet, until it wasn't. Over the years it has felt like the blog community has fallen of the map. It did not help that in January 2012 I decided to complete my bachelors degree. I still had household to run and I needed keep everyone fed so something had to give. And so blogging became nonexistent. I pretty much stopped posting here unless it was a major milestone and I wanted to remember every detail.
Well here I am fifteen years later. The boys have now both graduated from high school. One of them has graduated from college and is almost finished with his masters degree. The other one upon graduation from high school took a job in Oklahoma for the summer and won't return to Texas until mid August which just happens to be right before he starts college.
I also completed my bachelors degree and life just seemed to move right along.
But upon graduating I started to think about this blog here and all that it meant me over the years. I have numerous times looked back at posts and the pictures that were included. Sometimes I smiled and sometimes I laughed. I cried at some and even shuddered at a few too. But all in all, the memories made me thankful I had a spot to write them down.
It also got me thinking about how I enjoyed writing about the adventure of our life. I realized I missed it to some extent. The boys are much older and no longer require my constant attention. The school books, discussion boards, and exams also no longer need my focus. Hubs and I have entered into the new phase of what I call sort of empty nesting. The boys are still around but they also have their own lives.
So who knows, maybe I'll start writing here again.
