My baby boys

My baby boys are 14 and almost 10. Hardly babies any more. And just when did this happen? How has time gone by so fast? I would like to say I haven’t noticed how time has slipped by, but the truth of the matter is I have. And like so many other moms out there, I understand it has to happen but it doesn't mean I have to like. In fact, I really don’t.

Over the past few weeks I have looked over photo after photo of my boys and I swear it feels just like yesterday I was snapping my camera at their adorable little faces.

I remember when they were babies and I would hold them and listen to their sweet sighs and feel their breath as they nestled into the crook of my neck.

I remember watching them toddle down the hallway to their bedrooms to drag out every single toy they owned only to bring them to the living room and ask me to play with them. And how we would set up the train track and snake it throughout the entire room.

I remember when they both would climb in my bed after their baths wearing fresh pj’s and ask to be snuggled. I remember how their clean hair smelled of baby shampoo and how they’d scoot right up next to me and the ends of their feet only reached my knees. Now their feet reach my feet and beyond.

I remember the first time they put on a baseball uniform and walked up to the plate with a bat that was as big as them and swung so hard trying to make that ball go over the fence only to make it just to the infield dirt. I also remember the first time they slid into home plate to score a run. They didn’t even notice that I was screaming like we had just won the World Series. They were just excited to score a run and get a little dirt on them.

I remember holding their hand as we walked into the kindergarten hallway at school and how when we walked into the classroom they turned and gave me a quick hug and off they went. I also remember managing to hold myself together until I got back to the car and cried huge tears for ten minutes.

I remember a few short years later when we walked down the fifth grade hallway and all I got was a fist bump and a see you later mom. Personally I would have preferred a hug but at that age, it’s not cool to hug your mom in public especially at school. I also remember hearing their friends say how cool their mom was because I gave them a fist bump and didn’t even try to hug them like their moms had tried to do.

I remember the first time to see them walk out on the football field all padded up and thinking I hope they stay safe and play hard. And I remember their faces when they came running off the field to grab a sip of water, the pride showing as the coach smacked them on the shoulder and told them great tackle!

I remember going shopping for dress clothes for the homecoming dance for my oldest. Trying to find a shirt and a tie that would match her dress. I remember watching him give her the rose corsage we picked out, how he opened the door for her at the restaurant, and how he paid for their meal all on his own without having to ask me for help.  

So many other precious memories of sweet little moments of time captured in my heart and in my mind that move me to tears and make my heart ache for the past if only for a second. To listen to those sweet little voices call my name and ask me for help only to hear them say they can do it all by themselves. To feel their tiny arms encircle my neck and give me the biggest hug any three year old could as they whisper, I love you mama.

I still get the hugs and the “I love you mamas”, only now they sound more like a grown man’s voice instead of little boys and the hugs are so strong they almost feel as if they are trying to break my bones. (Which by the way I wouldn’t trade for anything.)

To my sweet sweet boys, Mama loves you, forever and ever and ever!