Grief Changes Shape But It Never Ends

So Wednesday was kind of a rough day for me. It stared off alright but as the day progressed so did the heavy feeling of missing my dad. By the time work was over and I got home I was in tears. 

All I wanted to do was curl up in my bed an go to sleep. Instead I thought it might help looking a pictures so I dug out some photos and quickly realized this was not a smart move. The pain of missing my dad, my aunt, and grandparents was just to much. It brought me to the deep place within my heart where it becomes unbearable. I just sat right down on the bed and cried. 

After a while I put the pictures away, wiped my faced, and pulled it together before my family got home. I managed to get dinner ready, make lunches for the next day, and even do some laundry. But by the time Hubs and I sat down to eat I just couldn't take it, I broke down again. I told him I hated feeling this way. I let him know I hate how this grief stuff sucks me in and grabs hold. We talked for a while and then he did the sweetest thing for me. He told me to just go get in bed and he would take of all of the evening stuff around the house. Honestly it made me love him even more than I already do. 

I can say sleep is a beautiful thing. It always seems to help. The griping pain of grief has subsided enough and I'm feeling a bit more OK. I know this is just part of the process. There is no time frame for when this will be over, as it will never be over. Grief becomes part of you, a part of who you are. It changes you.