The Storm

"And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. you won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. when you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in."

Many of my friends are just now getting back into their homes after Hurricane Harvey. Their homes are not completely ready but months of living either in a travel trailer or elsewhere has made them desperate to be back in their home so once it's in livable condition they are moving in.

I know this feeling all to well.

However it's what happens when they get back in their home that they are now experiencing that I have been going through since the first part of December and probably earlier if I am being honest. 

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD. It's real people and don't let anyone tell you it's not.

Mine does not have me so debilitated that I can not function but it's there and usually comes in full force in the middle of the night and wakes me up out of a dead sleep.

Mine shows up two ways. One is I wake up in the middle of the night heart racing and feeling as if I am trying to out run the flood waters as they enter my old house, only I can't. The other is the feeling of I am floating at the top of my ceiling and I am watching the flood waters enter my home. I am watching as the water gets higher and higher. I see the current moving all of our furniture around.

My friends are all having similar dreams or feelings. We all know what it is and we all know it will take time and we are leaning on each other. We want things back to the way they were, the old normal.

So even though the storm is over, I nor they are the same person who walked in.