I don’t think my boys read my blog and I think Hubs does from time to time. But I just need to put this all out into the void of the internet in the hope it helps ease my mind and heart.
So, a lot of things changed in my household over the summer. Reece was gone more than normal with baseball and Riley took a job for the entire summer at the camp where our church youth attends for one week each summer. Mind you this camp is in another state. But the big change was they both ended up with girlfriends this summer. Neither one had ever dated seriously, and I was excited they both found someone who they wanted to spend time with. Hubs and I have met both girls and we really like them. Reece and his girlfriend are still going strong at almost four months but recently Riley and his girlfriend, MW, broke up.
And here is where it gets tricky, at least for me, as this entire situation has woven itself into my life and will not let go. God has shown up in MW’s life in a real and tangible way. Her story is not mine to tell but our stories do have a small similarity, and it is one that pulls at my heart not only has a mom but as a girl. She has such a deep faith and personal relationship with the Lord. The kind of relationship I have prayed for over the years for any woman that would come into my children’s lives.
This week I have never wanted to run to another state and wrap my arms around someone so fast as I have this week. I remember the pain of a broken heart as a teenager and a young twenty something girl. It hurts me to know she is experiencing this and there is nothing I can do to fix it. As moms we just want to fix it when our children are hurting.
I have reached out to her and let her know that I am praying for her. I have asked God for specific details for her that I hope he hears and provides. I have prayed for Riley and her so many times this past week that I am certain God is tired of hearing their names fall from my lips. But I also know that in times of trails or struggle the Lord draws you closer to him and this time is no different. I can feel him working not only in their lives but mine as well.
Riley is my son and while I am being supportive of him, I also want to be supportive of MW. One thing that has played out in my mind over and over is that maybe my son is not worthy of her. Maybe God put it on his heart to break up with her so she can find and move forward to the one that he has created for her. The one that will cherish her, love her, provide for her, guide her, and simply just be her person. The one that HE has created just for her and for him. As painful as it is for her and for my mama heart to acknowledge, maybe this is why.
This is all new territory to Hubs and me as well. We have gotten attached to MW in such a short amount of time it will be hard for us to let her go. I know affairs of the heart get easier as time moves on, but this break up has affected me too. I only wanted to be one more person for her to do life with. To do all the things that parents do for their children. I hope that in the years to come I can still be some small part of her life, even if all I do is pray for her.
I am trusting God and his plan and his timing in this situation. I know God’s timing is always perfect. I have witnessed it firsthand. I believe with everything in me that He has someone who is completely and utterly worthy of her. And when she meets that someone, I hope they know how wonderful she truly is and how worthy they are of her.
